Fr. Rafail Noica: the love of a spiritual father

"it is interesting that seeing a person’s weakness, his sinfulness, it is as if you love him more."

Fr. Rafail: The period in which I was a spiritual father [at Essex] was very interesting because I discovered–the Mother of God revealed to me, because I have the impression that this gift was from Her–many things. Hearing confessions, I discovered man from the inside, and I remembered what Elder Sophrony told us t“I never understood Mount Athos until the Lord had me hear monks’ confessions.” Then I understood, and in general, you do not understand what man is and neither what you are–although we confess to one another, friends to friends when they share their difficulties, this is a confession. But the Sacrament of Confession brought me closer to people. 

And it is interesting that seeing a person’s weakness, his sinfulness, it is as if you love him more. And if I had known this before, when it was so difficult for me to confess, maybe it would have been easier for me to confess if I knew that the more sinful I showed myself to my spiritual father, the more he loved me. We are heretical when say, that is, the devil makes us think: if you say this, what will he think about you?  

Monk: And then he hides things in confession…

Fr. Rafail: Yes, and you feel it, you feel that the person hid something, and you feel bad that he is hiding it because if only he knew how much love the grace that works through the sacrament puts in your heart so that it can open to as tightly as possible embrace the person precisely because he is sinful.

Again Elder Sophrony said “grace makes you like a mother”...and as a spiritual father, more than any other time, I almost didn’t even care if they were doing better; I rejoiced if I saw a letter saying it was going better or something, but all my concentration was on those who were screaming in pain, and in sin, and so on. 

Source: