Mother Siluana on using the powers of our soul for healing
We need to learn to distinguish what belongs to the spiritual from what belongs to emotions and feelings.
Ever since we separated ourselves from God, we have been ill and we have torn ourselves into parts - both between one another, and within ourselves. We are torn inside ourselves into at least three parts that resist both God and one another.
We have a body with which we sense the world that surrounds us and which we keep alive by eating this world, drinking this world, breathing this world, enjoying it or using it in a predatory way. By looking at it, we eat it with our eyes too…
Then, we have what is called a soul in the strict sense of the word - our psyche, the passionate part of our soul, the part with which we desire, we yearn, we are quick to anger, we have feelings, we have a will, we have satisfactions and sufferings. It is the part that is largely controlled by consciousness, and through which we relate to our fellow human beings.
And we have another part, very hidden, not talked much about,a part that is well defined in the New Testament, in the revelation about human beings, the way our Savior taught it - this part is called spirit, or nous, or heart. It is the part, the power in us through which we enter into a relationship with God. It is the place where we meet God, where we hear God, where we taste God, where we are enlightened by God’s light.
Our spirit is nourished by God and nourishes our soul; it enlightens and nourishes our feelings, our desires, our wishes, and makes them healthy, the way God made them. The soul nourishes the body, which becomes spiritual as well. Then we say: this is a spiritual man. Because - look at how he walks, how he talks, how he eats, how his face shines; look what joy there is on his face! When we see Fr. Teofil or Fr. Arsenie, we see the work of the Holy Spirit with the spirit of man. This is our work: to make God, Who is unseen, seen; to make Him seen in our body.
But, since we are ill, we live upside down - that is, the spirit is nourished by the soul, by its emotions and desires, and the soul is nourished by the body, by its pleasures, and the body is nourished by the world which has become a “consumer goods”, a prey, and it is not perceived anymore as God’s love given to the body for partaking. And the poor body is nourished “with bread alone”, without God’s Word. We are now eaters of food, eaters of bread, and we are not eaters of God’s Word anymore, the Word through Whom we receive the Holy Spirit.
Therefore, our “spiritual” state becomes dependent even on the state of the weather, which influences our feelings. If it is going to rain soon, as it is now, my feet hurt a lot because I have rheumatism. Therefore, my feelings become negative all of a sudden, and this causes my spiritual state to suffer. I don’t “feel like” praying, I am upset at God for causing the weather to be bad, or my bones to be weak (it is His fault, right?) If I break a leg, I can have even worse feelings and say: “God doesn’t exist; or, if He does exist, He doesn’t care about me because He doesn’t take care of my leg… you saw how he put this big rock in my way and caused me to stumble and break my leg…”
This is how I become an unhappy being, even though inside me, in my depths where I don’t want to go, God resides there, in my heart, from the moment of my Baptism, and He calls me to dine together with Him in His Joy. Yes, even though I took Holy Communion on Sunday, even though I confessed the day before yesterday and grace came (because God doesn’t lie to us) - still, I am unhappy, because I have many reasons to be. And this unhappiness can lead to despair, despite God’s Gift.
Then, we suffer because, instead of being aware of our illness, of this tragic overturning of the hierarchy of the powers of our soul, instead of working on the healing that God gives us, we resist, we don’t have patience, and we continue to confuse things. We don’t distinguish what belongs to the spiritual from what belongs to emotions and feelings. We need to toil and work with God’s grace so that we can obtain the gift of discernment. With it, we will understand and sense that our psychological sadness cannot trouble our spiritual joy…
If we look at our Savior, the God-Man, if we look at His life, we see that His body was sensitive to pain, just like ours; that His soul was sensitive to sadness, just like ours; that His spirit needed prayer, just like ours. Even though He is God and was God, His human body was getting tired and hungry. His soul, His passionate part (without sin) was getting sad. “He cried” for Lazarus! Before the crucifixion, He said: “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful even unto death.” But His spirit was rejoicing! How do we know this? From Him. He told His disciples, during the same time before the crucifixion, both “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful even unto death” and “My joy I leave to you.” This is how I have the proof and the guarantee that, while I am sad because someone dear to me died, I am able to not forget and to feel the joy I received from Him. We can thus learn to say “the soul is sorrowful” and not “I am sorrowful” because I am more than my feelings and my emotions…
We have been raised, however, in such a way that negative feelings have turned into guilt, negative feelings have turned into shame, natural gestures have turned into shameful gestures - because we expect from ourselves an absolute that should manifest itself in relative gestures. When we become spiritual, this doesn’t leave us without feelings, but our feelings are not causes for falling into sin anymore. A spiritual person gets upset, can even get angry, but respects the commandment “Be angry, but do not sin”. “Be angry, but do not let the sun go down over your anger.” Of course, the majority of spiritual people are meek and humble in heart, because the Holy Spirit dwells in them. This is how our Savior was during His life on earth. But, as we know, even though the Savior was meekness incarnate, He got very upset when the situation demanded. He got angry. He rebuked the Pharisees and the scribes, He drove the money-changers out of the temple with a whip.
We have a great need to enlighten our minds, because there is great confusion there. Our way of thinking about life and appreciating it is in commotion; our reality is all mixed up. That is why it is absolutely necessary to reestablish, through repentance and God’s grace, the holy order of human nature. It is absolutely necessary to become aware of the hierarchy of the powers of our soul, and to respect it. We should not ask the power of the soul with which we digest food to offer us joy when someone scolds us; we should not ask the powers of our psyche to put us in contact with the spiritual joy felt by our spirit. And for this, it is necessary to become conscious and active in our relationship with God the Healer in each moment and in each small matter of our day. Otherwise, we study in college, we are highly educated, and we know how to talk very well about spiritual joy, about passions, about salvation, but we are unhappy, or full of passions that destroy our soul. I have known people who defend Orthodoxy, but don’t know how to defend their joy of being a living orthodox person here and now. On the contrary, they are very upset, very angry, and ready to fight entire legions of enemies that they can see everywhere, wherever they want. Why? Because they are not able to create an internal order in themselves. Why? Because they don’t experience small events as places of meeting God.
(From the conference “The Theology of Small Things” held by Mother Siluana Vlad in Alba Iulia, Romania, in 2006)
According to Mother Siluana’s teachings, forgiveness is the highest form of love, and the best way to heal the powers of our soul and set them in their proper hierarchy. Find out more here.
If you want to read more of Mother Siluana’s words, the book “Offering Ourselves, We Enter Into His Joy” is available on Amazon as paperback and ebook.