Mother Siluana: "I am the image of Your ineffable glory"

If you sit down in front of an icon, in silence, you might see a flickering, you might feel the glory that is in us.

Question:

While I was listening to Mother Siluana, I have been trying to give an answer, the best I could, to this question: “Who am I to God, to myself and to others?” And I remembered a chant from a service of the Holy Church that says: “I am the image of Your ineffable glory, though I bear the scars of my transgressions”.

Mother Siluana, please explain these words to us.

Mother Siluana:

I found my faith through this hymn. I was an unbeliever; I was convinced that God does not exist, and if He exists, He does not deserve our love because He allows so much suffering in the world. And I was very disgusted with people, and probably with myself. And I heard this chant after a friend of mine died. We all know it; it is from the Funeral Service. I don’t know what kind of action it had on my mind and soul, but it has entered my conscience ever since. And I know that I believed this in a way at that time, and then it was confirmed to me that we are the image of God’s Glory, even though we bear the scars of sins in our being.

It was very hard for me to become a believer because I am not easily fooled. I have a sharp, lucid mind, ready at all times to get to the bottom of things. And when I met God, I told Him: “I am ready to come to You with all I have, and You will see I have many gifts—I did not know my gifts were from Him; I thought they were mine, from my mother and father—but You need to show me the proof that You love me by making me feel love for this woman.” There was a woman I couldn’t stand at that time, and she couldn’t stand me. And He proved it in one week. He convinced me.

And then, for a while, I was still asking Him for signs from time to time. And at another funeral, when I heard this hymn, I happened to look at a vagrant, ugly and bold, who was eyeing someone’s wallet. And I said to myself: “Well, Lord, where is the image of Your Glory?” And then I saw the image of God in that man. Truly. He was so beautiful! And, of course, because I was like Thomas the unbeliever, God had to show this to me three times, so I understood and believed. And I said: “Is this possible? Is this person also the image of Your Glory? Even here?” And He replied: “Yes, he is, even here.” And He showed it to me. Nowadays, I don’t want to see this anymore because I know it is true and I don’t need proof anymore.

And so, I would like all of us to go back home with the knowledge and awareness that we are the image of This Glory. And that This Glory is not only a potential or a seed, but it is like a fire with a small intensity flame. If you sit down in front of an icon, in silence—especially at night, when it is quiet outside and inside us, because after some sleep we quiet down—and you go inside yourselves, at first under your skin, and then in your deep place inside, without doing anything else, only sit there in silence, you might see a flickering, you might feel the glory that is in us. Then, maybe we’ll be ashamed and we’ll fall asleep deciding that we will honor the glory in us starting the next day. But sleep erases that memory, and we start from the beginning with our helplessness. 

We also need to be careful with that light inside us, because many who travel to their interior world stop at that light, thinking that it is God and that they are gods. That light is what we received at our conception when we first saw God—it is the light of His countenance. I was astonished that we couldn't touch it; we couldn't get close to it. The closer you get to this light inside you, the stronger and farther away it is. At some point, I realized that we can't reach it precisely because it is open to infinity, to the Uncreated Light. This vessel of clay needs to be broken so we can resurrect in the body that is worthy, apt, and honored by God to carry the Light.

And so, we need to listen more often to this hymn or read the Funeral Service and tell this to ourselves from time to time. You can write it on a piece of paper and carry it in your pocket, and when you feel like doing something foolish, if you have time, take the paper out and read it; if not, read it at least after you do it, so you can understand it more.

From the conference “Who Am I?” held by Mother Siluana in Craiova, Romania, in 2006

Mother Siluana reposed in the Lord on June 8, 2021.

Mother Siluana’s grave at Frumoasa Monastery, Iasi, Romania

The grave adorned with flowers today, June 8, 2024: