Met. Athanasios of Limassol - What it really means to be a spiritual person

Spiritual people are people who repent. God’s people are those who know to repent every day. They see their falls and powerlessness, but they don’t get discouraged and they put their hope in God.

On the paths of our lives, we face many diverse temptations every day. These temptations, other than the suggestions and difficulties they bring, also often cause our falling into sin. It is something that targets all of us, with no exception. We too, people in the Church, who fight and wish to belong to the Lord, face daily, every moment almost, the fact of our falling. Let us not think that only a carnal sin, or a crime, or stealing, means falling. Often, a fall can be just a simple word, a glance, a simple psychological or physical movement. We have the fall in front of us. 

And here is where a great mystery is hidden: the path that leads us to God has a mighty and cunning enemy. This enemy is called hopelessness, discouragement, despair. And it is a crafty enemy, subtle, almost imperceptible, hard to notice because it is often mixed with humility. We say, for example: “I am a sinful man, I am not worthy of God’s grace!” And thus, we say that we need to have a humble mind. But at the same time, if we exceed the limit of our strength, this can crush us. It can crush us and destroy our psychological power, so we cannot do anything anymore. It is a demonic trap, as St. Paisios the Athonite used to tell us - and it especially oppresses us in our day and age.

A strange phenomenon is happening nowadays. Contemporary man is ruled by great sensitivity. While things around us are so rough, and we grow up with harshness and are confronted with many such situations, nevertheless, at some point, we can acquire a sensitivity that often translates to powerlessness. The devil will make sensitive persons even more sensitive, and they will be crushed by their great sensitivity and start to feel discouragement, despair, hopelessness - because they will see their powerlessness every day.

People have asked me: “What is the hardest thing in monastic life?” Maybe they were expecting me to say that the hardest thing is to wake up early, or to lead an ascetic life, to go into the mountains, or to leave your parents, or to deny yourself. None of these things is that hard. Of course, they are difficult, but not that difficult. Grace helps you deal with them. In the monastic life, in a life in Christ, the hardest thing is the surprise when you see yourself as you are. 

We enter the Church, we enter the monastic life, and without us wanting it or cultivating it, an image takes shape in our minds that we are people of the Church. We pray, lead an ascetic life, confess our sins, read, fast - we do so many things! And all of a sudden, we see that we have so many falls and spiritual struggles, and that so many dreadful passions are moving in us: malice, envy, selfishness, cunning, carnal desires, blasphemy, lack of faith. Countless things that we cannot even name and that we can neither control, define, or explain. 

We are often unable to understand what is happening within us. And when we go through some turbulence, as planes go through, we ask: “How can I do such a thing? How can I fall so low? Why should I have such thoughts? Why should I struggle with these things? Why do I feel these passions moving in me even inside the Church?” And if we fall into sin by our deeds as well, that is when the biggest temptation engulfs us: “Why should I fall into this sin?” That is when we need great strength to stand on our feet. We need great strength to say: “I am human. This is human nature: variable, always changing, unable to stand on its feet. This is how my nature is. However, I don’t put my trust in myself, but I put my hope in God.” 

It is in God that I hope and not in my strength or my virtues. As simple as it sounds, it is difficult to put into practice. Why? Because that is the nature of things, and, as I told you another time, God allows us to reach a spiritual point where we do not have any support. And because the last support is our inner self, we often hear that we need to acquire self-confidence - to believe in ourselves, in our powers. 

The moment comes when you are not able to have confidence in yourself either, when you look around and you don’t see anything or anyone. You feel no inner strength and you have nothing within you that you can hang on to. You look toward God to see if He is there, but He is absent. We go through this period of God’s absence which is part of the spiritual life. We look everywhere and we see nothing - not God, nor the Saints, nor the angels. We feel no comfort from others or ourselves. Everything is empty. It is as if we fall into an abyss and want to hang on to something, but there is nothing to grasp.

In this state, there appears a support, something to grasp, a rope that God throws at us in an unseen way. It is called repentance, the feeling of repentance. It is a characteristic of spiritual life. Don’t think that spiritual people are virtuous people. No! Spiritual people are people who repent. God’s people are those who know to repent every day. They see their falls and powerlessness, but they don’t get discouraged and they put their hope in God. 

Translated from Romanian subtitles: