Fr. Rafail Noica: On Going to Your Spiritual Father for a Word from God
A lesson from Saint Sophrony
“Lord, do not let my spiritual father speak humanly, but You give him a word for me!” I have [this prayer] from [Saint] Sophrony, because when we became spiritual fathers, [Saint] Sophrony told us to entreat God this way: “Lord, do not let me speak as a man; give me a word for the one coming to me, do not let me make a mistake and ruin the one for whom You spilled blood on the Cross.” And we as spiritual fathers must ask God for a word. But I understand that more importantly, it is the prayer of the disciple because it is about the disciple’s salvation, not the spiritual father’s. When the spiritual father goes to his own spiritual father as a disciple, because he is the disciple, his prayer will have more weight before God than his spiritual father’s. But it is important for the disciple and the spiritual father to entreat God in this way so that a human word does not come out.
I exhorted the brothers with whom I spoke about this to ask this as well: “Lord, give me a word with which to start this conversation or confession with my spiritual father.” And I ask God to give a word to me and my spiritual father, and that is why the Fathers say that you must take the first word the spiritual father says and not discuss it. Why should you not discuss it? It is not only because I may oppose it, because “Oh, Father, it’s too difficult.” It is not just about this. It is about not discussing not in order to learn more - “Ah, yes Father, it is good for me to do this” - but because it is a sacrament; because when you talk with your spiritual father - as it says in the life and teachings of Saint Silouan - you transform obedience into a discussion between two people, you make it horizontal. Our goal is to remain vertical, with God. So, the word I received - and I must receive it on the basis of the words: “Give me a word, Lord” - is a mystical word, because God knows all of my secret depths, and He knows how to heal them, as the Creator, He alone knows how to heal them. There is no person in this life who can know us as the Creator knows us. But neither do I know myself.
I see that something is not going well with me but I do not know what. So then I ask for a word and that word forms part of a secret dialogue between myself and my God. I receive it through my spiritual father, but it is not the spiritual father’s word, it is not from him, because I asked it from God, and then it is not a human word, it is not a word that can be subjected to judgment or reason: “Oh, why is it like this,” or “Yes, good, I understand,” and so on. This is an error. That is why I said this to those people these days. Points, points. Do not point out what and for what, but let God tell you later so that we can learn what it truly means and not what I imagine it may mean based on what I have read, my education, and so on. And thus, with the spiritual father - I exhorted many brothers in this way - pray about the problem, and pray maybe for entire days, that is, not all day, but pray until you feel that a moment or a day comes when you feel an opening [of your heart] to go to your spiritual father. And ask God for a word with which to start the conversation, ask God for a word through the spiritual father, ask God for strength and wisdom to put the word into practice. Hunt the spiritual father’s word, the word from somewhere else, like with the telephone: the telephone does not speak, but someone on the other end does.
So hunt the spiritual father’s word and take the first word that comes to you. And with the spiritual father’s blessing, you receive a great power in putting the word into practice, but the word is not the spiritual father’s, it is not for the spiritual father, and the spiritual father cannot explain it to you, but doing it, living it, you will probably understand it.
From a talk by Fr. Rafail Noica with other monastics on Mount Athos