Abbess Sofronia: The Mother of God teaches us to "do whatever He tells you"
The Mother of God teaches us not to judge or accuse others, and at the same time, she teaches us to do His will. This is the miracle.
In the second chapter of the Gospel of John, we read about the wedding at the Cana of Galilee. The Savior went to that wedding with His disciples and the Mother of God. And the Gospel says that there was no more wine and that the Mother of God went to the Savior and told Him: “They have no wine.” What a difference! What if we went to a wedding and the wine ran out? We’d hear whispering, judgment: “Look at these people! They didn’t plan properly to buy enough wine!” Or: “Look at these drunkards! They drank all the wine!”
So our first reaction would be to judge the others, whereas what did the Mother of God do? And this is her model for us to follow - she said: “They have no wine.” She described the reality of the situation without accusing, judging, or drawing conclusions such as “These people are ignorant” or “They are drunkards.” She didn’t draw any conclusion at all. All she said was: “They have no wine.”
And she said something else, which is the second step. But first, let’s clarify this one. A very good way of telling God what we want is this simple one: “Lord, I have no wine - I have no patience.” Or: “Lord, my husband has no wine - he doesn’t spend any time with us at home.”; instead of saying, “He doesn’t care…he is not interested in us,” and drawing conclusions from this.
The Mother of God shows us that we need to describe reality simply, as if we had a camera and we recorded it. “There is no wine” - that is what is happening, and not that people didn’t pay attention, or that they are drunkards and drank all the wine…nothing else. So we must learn to set things before the Lord in a simple way, without judgment or accusation.
And even if we set things before the Lord, we usually tell Him what to do: “Lord, do this in this way…and fast! Yesterday, if possible!” So we tell Him what to do and know very well what we want Him to do.
And what does the Savior answer? He answers: “Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.” And what does the Mother of God say? She tells the people: “Do whatever He tells you.” But we are used to telling God what to do, whereas the Mother of God teaches us that things are different: “You do what He tells you to do if you want a miracle to happen.” For us, a miracle means that God does what we tell Him to do, when in fact, the truth that opens us up to the miracle is for us to do everything He tells us to do. It is an overturning of the situation.
Do you think I don’t know what to tell God? I know many times how God is supposed to act…I know it very well. But He is very rarely impressed by my knowledge. And then I remember the words, “Do whatever He tells you,” and He does tell me - sometimes through my spiritual father, sometimes by a word from a book. However, I should still verify with my spiritual father if that is the word for me. Because we can read many things in books, but maybe we have not reached their measure, and we could be in danger of falling into temptations we can’t bear.
But sometimes, by simple things, if we ask the Lord: “Lord, what are You telling me now?”, then a thought might come to me: that I need to pray, that I need to be more humble - but I don’t like this thought. I would like the others to change, and I think, “He tells me again what to do?” But only if I do what He tells me to do will I open myself up to the miracle. A miracle is possible when I do what God tells me to do. The miracle is not for God to do what I ask Him to do.
The Mother of God teaches us: “Do whatever He tells you.” She teaches us not to judge or accuse others, and at the same time, she teaches us to do His will. This is the miracle. This is what makes the miracle possible in our lives: when we do God’s will.
Fragment from the conference “How can we build a happy family?”, Dusseldorf, Germany, November 2022.
Mother Sofronia is the Abbess of St. Silouan the Athonite Monastery in Iasi, Romania, where she and her sisterhood continue the work of Schemanun Siluana Vlad.